The Tantrum

It started off as any other day. My testy little Charlotte and I were off to the park, except this time we were going to be bringing a 3rd party, a little stuffed animal named Tigger. It was a beautiful day, and I was so excited to finally take advantage of the weather after being cooped up for so long.

A side note: Since our little bug hates to be put in the stroller because she loves to walk, we decided to get her one of those little baby harnesses so that she couldn't run away.

I asked her what she preferred that day, and she chose the Tigger harness as opposed to hanging on to the stroller. I helped her put her little arms through the straps while she giggled about Tigger riding on her back. I grabbed Tigger's tail and went to leave. And then, World War 3 ensued.

The little girl that had been so happy to walk to the park started to scream at the top of her lungs. She threw herself on the floor, arms thrashing, fists pounding, legs kicking furiously, her back arched and her words undistinguishable. I actually think she must have been letting loose a string of baby cuss words. Bewildered, I tried to figure out what was going on; did she get pinched when we closed the buckles? Was she in pain? After about 5 minutes it became clear: She thought she was going to the park and could run free along the way. Which is why we had gotten Tigger in the first place, because our little lovey doesn't listen when we yell "stop!" or "car" or "doggy dodo!! or "river embankment!!".

I gently explained to her that Tigger was going to stay on her back if she still wanted to go to the park, or we could take the stroller. I also informed the little missy that the way she was screaming and carrying on was unacceptable, and that if she wanted Tigger off her back, she could ask me nicely because no amount of screaming would coherce me to take it off. Yeah, big mistake. I apparently missed that tantrums class at Parenting 101 informing you should never test a 2 year old unless you're prepared to follow through.

The screaming, flailing, thrashing, and blubbering continued. After about 10 minutes of that, I was sure that everyone in the building was wondering what was happening. After half an hour, I was sure someone was going to call child services. After 45 minutes, I was almost at my wit's end and wondering if it was worth the fight. But I HAD said I wasn't taking Tigger off until she could ask nicely, so I decided to use every last bit of patience and self control that I had, (all the while silently praying for God to give me more, because I was at my breaking point after about 15 minutes of this!) and continued to let her scream it out. I found myself reminding her as gently as I could what the rules were and what acceptable behaviour was. I kept reminding myself that me yelling would get us no where; that I would be showing her exactly the opposite of what I was asking of her. And I continued to pray for God to curb my own reaction.

And then, after a solid HOUR of this amazing and terrible tantrum, came a tiny little hiccuppy voice, trying to speak through the sobs, "Mama, please take da tigger off, please mama." I looked at my tiny daughter, her big, blue, tear filled eyes downcast and defeated, her curly hair matted against her forehead, her clothes in utter dissaray, sweat pouring down her little face. I didn't know if it was relief I felt that it was finally over, or pity at how stubborn this little one is. It was a heartbreaking sight.

And at that moment, I felt my heart swell with love for this incredible little girl. I unbuckled the Tigger and swept her up my arms, her little body still quivering from her hour long ordeal. I smothered her chubby tear stained cheeks with kisses, brushed her hair out of her eyes, and told her how much I loved her and how proud I was that she had decided to ask nicely. She snuggled into my neck and repeated, " Sowwy, mama, Sowwy for da scweamin'. It's not vewy nice. I love you mama". I held her for the next half an hour, rocking her and stroking her head, until the sobs diminished and she was ready to play, the smile back on her adorable little face.

I know that my little monkey learned an important lesson, because the temper tantrums now only last about 3 minutes before she gives up, ready to obey and speak nicely. And while I am grateful that she has learned, I'm even more grateful for what I have learned out of this. 1: If I say it, I need to stick to my guns. It will pay off later. 2. My little one is incredibly stubborn, but is also willing to accept correction and discipline if I can keep my own temper in check and show her what's acceptable by my actions. 3. I need God's grace for parenting, because I have SUCH a long way to go in knowing how to handle these situations. 4.These difficult moments, as trying as they are, won't last forever.
5.There is no greater feeling in the world than when the battle is over!