The Home Coming

For those nearest and dearest to me, you know that last week I pulled up my socks and headed for the airport. I decided to give my mother a heart attack and just show up at her door, direct from Paris. I'm pretty sure that if I had waited any longer, I wouldn't have come at all. If you read my post about travelling alone with a baby, you would know why.

The day started out as any other. Suitcases ready? Check. Passport and travel documents? Check. Baby stuff ready? Check. Period after 18 months of having none? Check. Stroller confiscated at the Paris airport? Check.

The first flight wasn't all that bad. Charlotte crashed pretty early into it, and the flight attendant played with her because there weren't too many people on board. The flight from Amsterdam to Vancouver was the one I was really dreading, because it was 10 hours long. And I was right. It started by arriving on the plane and being shown to my seat with a flash light because there was a problem with the electricity. Then the captain came on saying "Hello, this is Captain Menace. We are experiencing electrical difficulties, which we hope to resolve very soonn. Now will Mr What's his face from Iran please report yourselves immediately to the ground crew. Immediately make yourself known Mr What's his face from Iran."

Lovely. Not only was the electricity not working, but there appeared to be a terrorist on board, as well as a captain named Menace. Very reassuring for someone who hates to fly. Anyways, we took off, and I spent almost 10 hours stuck at the window seat with a screaming baby who peed all over every dry outfit I had for her. Quite honestly, by the time I got to Vancouver, I swore that I would never ever ever do this alone again. So if Julien wants me home, he can come and get me!!!

Anyway, I completely surprised my mother, who had no idea whatsoever that I was coming. And once I was home, I felt utter relief. And then I cried myself to sleep.

I've been home for 2 weeks now and am starting to get over the trauma of that flight. Hopefully things will alright for the flight home, but for now I have a solid month ahead of me to enjoy. And truth be told, now that I'm here I am so glad I did it. Charlotte is thriving and crawling all over the place and pulling herself up on the furniture. She meows at the cat and flirts with everyone she meets here. And all is good.

The Game

I love a good competition. The problem is that sometimes, a little competition can go too far.Take Farmville for instance. I started playing this little game on facebook in November. At first, it was just so cute and fun. I planted crops and harvested them, and all was happy until one of my friends decided that he was going to play too. Only his strategy was better than mine, and he started to level up faster than me. Never one to be outdone, I had to change my strategy (well, more like HAVE a strategy) and I became a planting, harvesting, and plowing machine. Then another friend decided that HE was going to play, and overtook both of us because he apparently has hours to spend in front of the computer.Needless to say, the farming was intense. We were plowing, seeding, and harvesting everyday, sometimes a few times a day. My farm was very well kempt. All of my animals were brushed everyday. The trees were harvested. The eggs were collected. The cows were milked. I built fences, buildings, and continued to plow. I was a very busy beaver.

That is until one night when Julien kind of burst my little happy farming bubble with a simple question, "How come your farm is so neat when the house is such a mess?".

Ouch.

Begrudgingly, I took a look around me. Dishes piled on the counter, laundry to fold on the couch, and a glance in the mirror at my unbrushed hair suddenly made me feel ashamed of myself, like being caught with your hand in the cookie jar. I decided to count how much time this game was taking me, and was appalled at the results. Here I was complaining that I never have time to do anything, but yet I was spending about 3 hours a day on that game. Granted, it was not in one sitting, but that is alot of time for a dumb little computer game.Needless to say, I have decided to leave the virtual life for reality. My house is getting cleaner by the hour, while my animals are left needing to be brushed and my crops withering and wasting away. It's amazing that all of a sudden I feel like I have free time, even though I have the same amount as before. I guess it's just a question of priorities. You'd think that after almost 30 years on this earth I would have learned that by now, but apparently I forgot somewhere along the line.

What Ever Happened to Little Miss Independant?

If you had asked me to describe myself a year ago, I guess I would have said that I'm a go-getter. A self starter. A take charge kind of girl. If you told me something couldn't be done, I would attempt it just to prove you wrong. I take the bull by the horns. I tackle problems logically and head on. I love a challenge. I laugh in the face of danger. Well, ok, maybe not that last one. But you get the picture. I'm an independant woman. Or at least I was.

I was planning a trip home for myself and my little girl, seeing as how I am off work for good in France. I thought about how wonderful it would be to see my family before my baby grows up and goes to university (yes, total exaggeration, I know) and how awesome it would be to actually see my mum and best buddy in person, because I really miss them. So I started looking for flights to get me there. At first, it was all good. I found a few flights that looked decent, and started to book them.

Then I got hit with a thought: how in the world am I going to get the suitcases with the baby and stroller? Checking them is no problem; Julien could help me with that. But what about on the other side? Are there people who can do that for you? How to I pick up a 50 pound suitcase and not leave my daughter or belongings unattended? How in the world do I push a stroller and the suitcase trolley through customs?

And then another nagging thought: how am I going to keep my squirming, curious, and cranky-when-sleep-deprived baby on my lap for a 15 hour flight? I can't keep her still for 5 minutes, much less 15 hours. How do I go to the bathroom? What do I do when my arms start cramping from holding her but there's turbulance and I'm not allowed to put her down? Where will she sleep, seeing as how she's too tall for the baby basinettes?

With all these questions, my trip has been postponed until I can figure out a solution to each and every problem. If someone were with me, they wouldn't even be an issue. But alone? I think it's something that's just too big for me, no matter how badly I want to go home. I've looked at it from all angles, and every time the same feeling comes back: sheer and utter fear. This is just something that I can't do myself. So much for being independant. And so much ffor Hakuna Matata.

If any of you bloggers out there have travelled by yourself internationally with a baby, please let me know how you did it. Or even if you have any advice about the logistics of it all, like the suitcases or bathroom issues, please let me know!
PS I did call the airline I had wanted to travel with and they were most unhelpful. They told me that there was no way the flight staff could hold my baby while I pee, and that the ground crew would not help me with suitcases, especially because there are simply not enough staff to do it.

New Year: A Time for Resolution?

Happy New Year! I was trying to come up with what I could possibly use as a New Year's Resolution, and pretty much drew blanks. I could join the "This year, I will quit smoking" group, but then I would have to start smoking in order to stop. I could go with the "lose 20 pounds" group, but I think I've joined that group every year and dropped out around January 6th,when the French pastry "galette des Rois" is celebrated. I could choose "I will do better at my job", but since I'm jobless that could be kind of difficult.

This year is new to us. Not in the sense that it's a new year, but in the sense that it is a complete unknown for us. There's no plan, no direction. We are both jobless and don't know if Julien will find a job to tide us over until we move back to Canada. Our appartment is up for sale, but we don't know when it will sell. We're waiting for Julien's visa to come through, but again, we don't know when it will come. Our entire life is unknown right now. So this year, my resolution is to join the "go with the flow" group. This is a big challenge for me, because I like having a safe net; I like being in control of my life. Because everything is so out of control right now, I have no choice but to trust that God knows what's best. Clichéd, definately. But so true. So here's to the Go with the Flow resolution, complete with song and dance.

Hakuna Matata!

What a wonderful phrase

Hakuna Matata!

Ain't no passing craze

It means no worries for the rest of your days

It's our problem-free philosophy

Hakuna Matata!