Just when you think you can't take anymore, Grace steps in to help you out.
As I've mentioned before, my baby has been the most horrible sleeper from the day she was born. Despite many many many different methods, up until now I've been unable to help her sleep. That is, until 2 weeks ago.
You may have read my post here where I was pretty much at the end of my rope. I was so tired, cranky, and unable to function that I just wasn't enjoying being a stay at home mother. I was at the point where I wanted to leave her on someone's doorstep with a letter asking to get her back when she slept more than 2 hours a night. And then something happened.
That day that I let her cry, Charlotte took a nap. It lasted for 2 hours. She woke up happy and played for a few hours. Then she took nap another that same afternoon. For me, this was the most incredible thing ever. Then I started to get nervous, because I was sure she would be up all night. Julien put her to bed, and she snuggled right in and went to sleep. No fuss. No muss. Just straight to sleep she went. She woke up a few times in the night, but fell asleep as I changed and nursed her.
This has been going on now for the last 2 weeks. 2 naps a day. And the last 3 nights, she has slept from 8:30pm until 6:30am with one little 15 minute nursing break in between. I am a person again, not at all like the zombie I was 2 weeks ago. And Charlotte is sleeping, and has become a bubbly, happy baby.
I don't know what I did to get her to sleep. Was it just the combination of everything that made it work? Did she just decide to flip the sleep switch? All I know is that it doesn't really matter. For me, Grace stepped in and lent a hand.
Monday, December 28, 2009
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Requiem
A hero is described as "a man of distinguished courage or ability, admired for his brave deeds and noble qualities". So I must say that hands down, my Dad is my hero. His ability to make people feed at ease, his honesty, and integrity are admirable. The husband that he was, the father that he was, admirable. I watched him as he courageously battled cancer, and he fought with everything in him to the end. Courageous. He was the person always willing to help when nobody else would. He always put others first.
Dad, it's been 2 years today that you let go of our hands to take Jesus'. It's crazy how fast time has gone, and how much has happened since then. I really miss your advice; I'm glad now that you repeated yourself as many times as you did, because now it's easy to remember. I miss your big bear hugs. It sucks knowing that every time I go home you're not there. I'm thankful for the time I had with you. It hurts seeing families that are complete, because ours is just so empty without you. I'm sad that Charlotte will never know you, because you would have been the best grandpa. I'm happy that she shares your birthday; I know you would have been puffed with pride and would have told everyone you met. Now that I have her, I understand so much more the sacrifices that you made for me. I miss you so much words couldn't begin to describe it, so I won't even try. Thank you for the example of integrity, honesty, and hard worker that you were. Thank you for teaching me to be responsible. Thank you for being you. I love you. You are my hero.
Dad, it's been 2 years today that you let go of our hands to take Jesus'. It's crazy how fast time has gone, and how much has happened since then. I really miss your advice; I'm glad now that you repeated yourself as many times as you did, because now it's easy to remember. I miss your big bear hugs. It sucks knowing that every time I go home you're not there. I'm thankful for the time I had with you. It hurts seeing families that are complete, because ours is just so empty without you. I'm sad that Charlotte will never know you, because you would have been the best grandpa. I'm happy that she shares your birthday; I know you would have been puffed with pride and would have told everyone you met. Now that I have her, I understand so much more the sacrifices that you made for me. I miss you so much words couldn't begin to describe it, so I won't even try. Thank you for the example of integrity, honesty, and hard worker that you were. Thank you for teaching me to be responsible. Thank you for being you. I love you. You are my hero.
Mountains High by us Written by Martin Smith 2003
Sorrow came to visit us today
Was the longest day, was the loneliest day
Sorrow came to steal our hope away
Only tears can tell Of this holy hour
This mountain's high, too high for us
Sorrow came quicker than a fire
Was the longest day, was the loneliest day
I feel your hand, the warmth, your sweetest smile
But you slipped away, through the great divide
This mountains high, too high for us
Your ways are high, too high for us
Monday, December 14, 2009
Sleep, the Unattainable dream II
Funny things happen when you are sleep deprived. First of all, you don't know whether you are awake or sleeping. Your memory plays tricks on you. You fall asleep in the shower or on the toilet. You find your keys in the fridge and the milk carton beside your shoes. You stay in your pj's all day long in the hopes that at some point you can go to bed and sleep until next week. You're unable to make the easiest of decisions, like choosing between brussel sprouts and chocolate. A person asks you, "do you want fries with that?", and you burst into tears because of yet another reminder of how you don't have the energy to cook. again. You surf the internet to find harmless crimes to commit in the hopes of getting some jail time, just to get a bit of shut eye and catch up on some reading and tv watching.
Yes, I have hit rock bottom. This whole no sleep phenomenon has gone on way too long. My baby is up about 7 times in the night, despite starting solids. She refuses soothers, thumbs, and our pinkie fingers now. Toys, books and eating are only mild distractions. She resists sleep like the plague, and not only at night. She will go all day long without a nap, fussing the whole time, and then finally crash and burn at around 6pm after being up 12 hours straight. This will last 45 minutes. Nothing calms her down except nursing, which is becoming extremely painful. The paediatrician just shrugs it off as normal baby stuff. People say, "them's the breaks!". Parents look at us as if we're doing something horribly wrong, but they've been blessed to have a baby that actually sleeps through the night since it was 1 week old, and this, I'm sorry to say, through no doing of their own.
Because of the stress of everything that is going on in our lives right now, I just can't take it anymore. So today, I resorted to something that until now I've been unable to do. I put my cranky cranky baby in her crib and left her screaming there. I hate hearing it, but I really don't know what else to do. I just went to check on her, and to my surprise, she's fast asleep. It's been an hour now, and she's still sleeping. She's sideways in her bed, on her tummy and has a blanket up to her face, but she's sleeping.
If any of you out there have any encouragement, please leave it. I really truly have tried almost everything under the sun, but maybe there's something I'm missing.
Thanks!
Becky
Yes, I have hit rock bottom. This whole no sleep phenomenon has gone on way too long. My baby is up about 7 times in the night, despite starting solids. She refuses soothers, thumbs, and our pinkie fingers now. Toys, books and eating are only mild distractions. She resists sleep like the plague, and not only at night. She will go all day long without a nap, fussing the whole time, and then finally crash and burn at around 6pm after being up 12 hours straight. This will last 45 minutes. Nothing calms her down except nursing, which is becoming extremely painful. The paediatrician just shrugs it off as normal baby stuff. People say, "them's the breaks!". Parents look at us as if we're doing something horribly wrong, but they've been blessed to have a baby that actually sleeps through the night since it was 1 week old, and this, I'm sorry to say, through no doing of their own.
Because of the stress of everything that is going on in our lives right now, I just can't take it anymore. So today, I resorted to something that until now I've been unable to do. I put my cranky cranky baby in her crib and left her screaming there. I hate hearing it, but I really don't know what else to do. I just went to check on her, and to my surprise, she's fast asleep. It's been an hour now, and she's still sleeping. She's sideways in her bed, on her tummy and has a blanket up to her face, but she's sleeping.
If any of you out there have any encouragement, please leave it. I really truly have tried almost everything under the sun, but maybe there's something I'm missing.
Thanks!
Becky
Friday, December 4, 2009
The Name Game
First of all, let me start by saying: I have officially given my notice at work!! This means that Julien and I are both unemployed. Risky move? Perhaps. But we truly believe that we're supposed to move back to Canada, and I just couldn't leave Charlotte at a babysitter's all day to earn mere pennies at the end of the month. Hopefully we'll get Julien's visa soon, but we know it's in the works. Julien is still looking for a temporary job, so hopefully something will come up soon.
Today's story: if you ever plan on sending me a package while I'm still here, please be sure to put Rebecca and not Becky. Here's why:
I went to the post office box and found a little slip "while you were away, Becky received a package! please go in person to your nearest post outlet for pick up."
Sweet! A package! For me! So I went to the post office, handed in my slip and a piece of ID, and waited for the postman to return. He did return, but without a package.
Post man: "I'm sorry," he said, "but there is no package for Rebecca".
Me: "Um, ok,then why did you put the slip in my box, saying there was a package for Becky"?
Post man: "I can't give you that package, because it's for Becky".
Me: "But I am Becky!"
Post man, looking at me like I'm the dumbest blonde on earth: "No, you're not. You're Rebecca. For all I know, Becky is your brother."
Wow. First, my poor brother; he'd never live that name down! Second, that's the first time in my life that someone has told me that I'm not me. Where at home I could cash cheques, receive packages, and even introduce myself as Becky for just about everything, here, I don't even exist.
To make a long story short, I finished by getting my package 3 days later after going in every single day to ask. I've learned that here it all depends on who you get at the counter, (this happened with my first visa; it took 7 different visits to finally find someone who would accept my birth certificate) and my persistance finally paid off! The worst of it all is that if someone (anyone, even if the cat had answered the door) had been home when the post man arrived the first time, none of the running around would have happened!
Anyway, all is well that ends well and I'm still me, albeit a little older and a little wiser.
Today's story: if you ever plan on sending me a package while I'm still here, please be sure to put Rebecca and not Becky. Here's why:
I went to the post office box and found a little slip "while you were away, Becky received a package! please go in person to your nearest post outlet for pick up."
Sweet! A package! For me! So I went to the post office, handed in my slip and a piece of ID, and waited for the postman to return. He did return, but without a package.
Post man: "I'm sorry," he said, "but there is no package for Rebecca".
Me: "Um, ok,then why did you put the slip in my box, saying there was a package for Becky"?
Post man: "I can't give you that package, because it's for Becky".
Me: "But I am Becky!"
Post man, looking at me like I'm the dumbest blonde on earth: "No, you're not. You're Rebecca. For all I know, Becky is your brother."
Wow. First, my poor brother; he'd never live that name down! Second, that's the first time in my life that someone has told me that I'm not me. Where at home I could cash cheques, receive packages, and even introduce myself as Becky for just about everything, here, I don't even exist.
To make a long story short, I finished by getting my package 3 days later after going in every single day to ask. I've learned that here it all depends on who you get at the counter, (this happened with my first visa; it took 7 different visits to finally find someone who would accept my birth certificate) and my persistance finally paid off! The worst of it all is that if someone (anyone, even if the cat had answered the door) had been home when the post man arrived the first time, none of the running around would have happened!
Anyway, all is well that ends well and I'm still me, albeit a little older and a little wiser.
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